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To Whom or What Should We Deliver a Gentle Message?

Recently, I have been paying close attention to the sounds, or more specifically, the tones I hear in different people’s voices as well as the spiritual tones of their behavior as they go through the vicissitudes of life. Sometimes people around us, as well as our own self, can sound in a manner that is quite contrary to the words that are coming out of our mouths. The challenge here, I find, is deciphering where is the greatest truth? Is it in the sound of their voice or is it in the words that they’re saying?

I generally refer to certain scriptures of the revealed word of ALLAH (God) for guidance on even the most simple or common matters. For our brief study of this post I am revisiting the words in the Bible that tell us that “in the beginning was the word…”. I ask myself what is in a ‘word’? A word is the phonetic sound of an expressed thought. So, am I understanding the words that are coming out of people’s mouths for correct comprehension of them or am I more affected by their attitude that is best conveyed in the manner of which they are expressing the words? This is what I’d like us to do a brief study of as you read on in this post. Reflecting, yes on others, but primarily on SELF.

Many of us, when we express ourselves, even when publicly speaking and or preaching the Word of God, express the truth in a manner that is not kind or gentle on the listener. Even if you are not a public speaker, our vocal tone at times in speech either sounds disturbed or, quite frankly, dead and disinteresting. Why do you think that’s so? A self study of attitude can teach us how and when we must make adjustments in our disposition mentally and emotionally to affect the tone and, more specifically, the manner that we express the things that we say. This is to say it’s not always what we say that really affects people, but how we say it.

I find a scientific analysis of attitude in conjunction with expressed words will show us just how effective we can be as COMMUNICATORS. The greater reason behind breakups in interpersonal relationships of every kind is found in a failure to communicate. An effective communication is not just about what you want to say to the other person. In effective communication you must consider the code or channel by which you want to send a specified message, with CONSIDERATION for the intelligence and sensibility of the receiver of your message. Are you speaking to someone that is consciously able to decode your message? This is such a critically important point in the quality of our current communication with our spouses, our children and perceived friends.

Being aware of yourself as the communicator or transmitter of a message is only a percentage of real communication. Consideration with compassion for who you are attempting to communicate with is what completes the process of communicating which results in satisfactory FEEDBACK. Do we want peaceful dialogue? Then we must be more aware of how we are transmitting and affecting others by the things we say and do. We often want our partner, children, friends and coworkers to pay attention when we are saying something to them that is critically important to us, but we do not affect its importance in them because it is not just our words that they are receiving, but it is also the spirit and attitude or manner in which we are expressing it.

Have you ever heard someone say to you “I love you” with a dead, contradictory spirit? I’m sure you have. A great example of this is when our comedian Brother, Chris Tucker, says in the movie “Rush Hour”; “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”. Outside of the humor context of these words, the truth is we may not understand the words that are coming out of anyone’s mouth because words are only as effective coming out of our mouths as the attitude of the person that expresses them. Maybe a real interpersonal question to the reader of this post is “are you understanding the words that are being posted on this screen?” (LOL).

One last example I’d like to leave us with is how we so commonly inject in our verbal communication and language with each other at the end of most statements, the insecurity of a rhetorical question that goes as follows… “You know what I’m saying?” (LOL).

Thank you for considering these words, and even more so, for those who will read it and take the time to reflect. And, as I’ve said it in many posts over the years, I’ll write it here again: if no one else has said it to you yet today… ALLAH (God) loves you, and so do I. 😇

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